Ebony & Ivory

When Tragedy Strikes

2011-10-26T19:01:00.108-04:00

Yesterday I shared about my visit to the ER courtesy of my beloved 3-year-old, Josiah. I wanted to share the second part of that story, an encounter that was seared into my heart and mind and I'm afraid has scarred me for life.

As I shared in my previous post, after they did the EKG and drew my blood, there was nothing to do but wait. It was quiet, so they put me in the main trauma room where I was enjoying hum of the florescent lights and my oxygen mask. Things suddenly became very urgent. The doctors and nurses were all speaking in hushed tones and scurrying to get things ready.

I can only describe what I heard next, which made it all the more terrifying: a hysterical family came bursting int the doors with what sounded like a puppy whelping uncontrollably. I could hear young children crying, the doctors calmly but firmly calling for everything "stat" and what I gathered was a hysterical mother. As I listened, the picture came into focus: a 14-month old baby boy being tickled by his brother and sister, rolled off the bed and hit the floor. He didn't fall very far, but he immediately began having seizures, so they called 911 and had an ambulance bring the child in. The helpless cries that I had been hearing were that of this little boy.

A police officer entered and provided the doctors with new information that he just obtained from the scene; that one of the siblings confessed that the baby "might have hit his head on the bannister" as he fell. This meant they could now looking at a serious C-spine injury. The mother kept, calling his name in an effort to calm him, but the baby continues to seize untrollably. The sound was indescribable. Unimaginable. Just awful. I wept quietly yet uncontrollably as it unfolded literally in front of me. I instinctively made the connection that this baby was exactly the same age as Asher, and in the blink of an eye he could be paralyzed or killed.

The nurse came in and said, "we're gonna move you to give them more room." As they wheeled me out, I saw a team of 6-7 doctors and nurses working feverishly on the the baby boy. All I could see was his two little legs as he continued to wretch in pain. They noticed I was upset, so I explained that I had a 14-month old boy, too. She said, "that's the worst part of this job."

I'll never know what happend to Baby Carter. My optimism compels me to believe that he is recuperating and doing well. All I can do is pray: for Baby Carter, for his family, and for his siblings who had to watching their brother suffer. When tragedy strikes, you can't make sense of it; you just have to rest in the fact that God's in control of it.

My Kid Put Me in the Hospital!

2011-10-25T23:44:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday night, I spent a good 4-5 hours in the local ER with chest pains. I know chest pains sound scary, but something about the fact that I could make the pain come and go by bending a certain way made me suspect that I pulled a muscle in my chest or something. So I went. Better safe than sorry, right?

Sure enough, after they triaged me, checked my EKG and blood work, I was fine. They asked if I had any sports injuries recently or any trauma. I couldn't think of any. They finally discharged me with some paperwork on chest wall injuries; basically a bruise of the cartilage just below the sternum. That seemed to fit the pain I was experiencing. But I still wondered what had caused the pain in the first place.

Then it hit me! (no pun intended). A few nights earlier, Josiah and I were horning around in the living room, and I was tossing him up in the air and catching him. He was getting pretty excited and was climbing on me, flopping down on me, and just having fun. At one point, he was sitting on my lap catching his breath after being tossed into the air; he leaned forward and suddenly flopped his head back into the middle of my chest! It caught me totally off guard right in the solar plexus. I had the wind completely knocked out of me and truth be told I felt a little weird for the rest of the night but shrugged it off. I didn't connect the dots until the other day . . . the ER doctor's description of the injury to my chest wall matches where Josiah's head made contact with my chest.

So I guess that's my first "toddler-related" injury. Is there a blank for that on medical history forms?

New "Lease" on Life

2011-09-24T22:19:00.004-04:00

SO maybe you noticed that the photo badge of our house disappeared from the bar to the right on the olod blog. Well, that's because we signed a one year lease last week, officially ending the "two mortgage" blues. It really couldn't have worked out better, because our tenants are a really nice family with two small children, and the house is just perfect for them!

Raising the Bar for Babies

2011-05-23T13:37:00.013-04:00

A friend of mine recently wrote a four-part series entitled "Raising the Bar for Babies." It's truly outstanding! Check it out!!

Raising the Bar for Babies | Part 1

Raising the Bar for Babies | Part 2

Raising the Bar for Babies | Part 3

Raising the Bar for Babies | Part 4

This series was timely in that Amy and I have been beside ourselves lately with expressive, strong-willed toddlers ruling the roost. We finally got a chance to catch up and survey the landscape of our parenting and she concluded, "I think we're creating our own chaos." So we sat down and drew up a daily schedule that would begin to instill the much-needed discipline and responsibility that they need while teaching them life lessons along the way.

Seriously ADORABLE

2011-05-15T22:47:00.000-04:00

Tonight Josiah didn't want to got to bed; he wanted to ply with Annnie. So he climbed into her crib and we listened from downstairs as they played and giggled. We went up at two different occasions to ask if he wanted to go to his room. He wanted to sleep in Annie's crib, and we figured he's get tired eventually and ask to go to his own bed. About an hour later, all was quiet upstairs. I peeked into Annie;s room and they were both fast asleep. It was one of those scenes that you really can't describe, and I hated to chance waking them, but I grabbed the camera and took a shot

Of course the flash woke Josiah who then asked to sleep in his room, which woke Annie who needed some rocking back to sleep.

Allergies

2011-05-03T20:52:00.019-04:00

Josiah has joined the millions of americans that suffer from seasonal allergies. Patricia gave us a heads up that both her and Yvonne suffered from seasonal allergies, but up till not that haven't reared their ugly head. However last weekend at an Easter Egg Hunt in Lancaster, PA Josiah had a truly frightening reaction to the freshly cut grass. Here's the before and after:

We brought him inside, stripped him down and gave him a bath to get all the pollen off him. Luckily my cousin's wife is a physician's assistant that was able to relieve the swelling and deal with the extremely woried parents. The worst part was when the swelling above his left eye actually pushed it's way out of Josiah's eye! I thought that his eyeball popped out and almost lost it for a second. But the PA just pushed the swelling back inside and we continud to ice his eyes and comfort the little guy.

We went to the allergist a few days later and had him tested. He was a brave little man while they pricked his back with various allergins. After 20 minutes of holding his hands so he wouldn't scratch, the tests were definitive: Our little man is allergic to grass pollen, tree pollen ragweed, cats and dogs.

The pediatric allergy specialist we saw was old school: a 1970's style split-level with the matching interior decor. The receptionist was about 70 years old and clearly confused by our "ebony & ivory" family. While I was checking out, she said, "he looks like he keeps you busy!" And I explained that he's actually the oldest of three. She replied, "are they all related?" I understood the question and the question behind the question and assured her that they were all related.

Fuzzy Top

2011-04-17T11:58:00.000-04:00

At day care the other day, Josiah was on the potty with another boy (there are two stalls side by side). His friend, Mattthew, couldn't see who was next tom him because of the stall divider and asked, "who's there?" He reached over the top of the divider and felt Josiah's hair exclaiming, "it's FUZZY! Hi Josiah!"

Kindred Spirits

2011-04-10T13:44:00.001-04:00

We went to a local park on Saturday mornings so the kids could take advantage of all the beautiful sunshine. There was another couple there with their two kids; a Caucasian couple with two darker children with jet black hair. Of course my mind jumps to adoption; I was guessing the kids were Native American or South American and and I could tell that the family was eying up our little brown boy and thinking the same thing. We both wanted to talk about it, but how do you bring it up?

I've noticed talking about adoption (even with other other adoptive parents) is a socially delicate thing. You really don't know the circumstances that led to their adoption decision or the pain and heartache that the process brought with it. However only adoptive parents know the joy and wonder of receiving that gift of a child and raising it as your flesh and blood, and I'm always curious to get other people's take on their journey.

The mom gave me the perfect opening when she said, "you certainly have your hands full with those three! And they're close together, too!" I began to tell her that four months after we adopted Josiah, we found out that Amy was pregnant which was "impossible" according to our fertility specialists. [Thankfuly she DIDN'T say, "Oh, that's always how it goes...you adopt then you have one of your own." If I had nickel for every time someone offered that insensitive little ditty . . . but I digress.]

She had been to the same fertility doctors and had indeed adopted from Guatemala. They brought a little boy home and 9 months later they recieved word that the birthmother was due with a biological sibling, so they adopted his sister as well! What a cool story! And they used Bethany as their adoption agency, so we had yet another connection. We talked about our experiences in the process, the adoption play group that we're involved in and some mutual friends that we discovered. They were complete strangers, but we shared a special kinship with them and felt like we knew a lot about them all because of our shared experience with adoption.

The Move

2011-03-29T21:11:00.002-04:00

Nothing quite turns your world upside down like cramming all your possessions into a truck and watching the truck drive away! But that's exactly what we did last week. After a long and drawn-out process fraught with delays and hiccups, we became the owners of a cute little house in the Philly suburbs.

When we were first married, we moved five times in 4 years; each time with a U-Haul and lots of help from friends and family. With my back bring totally screwed up, we knew that there was NO WAY we could do it alone. We solicited advice from friends on Facebook, narrowed the choices to three companies and got quotes from all of them. The cheapest guys seemed like the best bet, but they were booked through the end of the month, and we were anxious to get into the new place. I got the quotes last Friday and one company said they could move us the next day! We hadn't packed anything yet, but we agreed and worked into the wee hours of the night getting ready for their arrival.

At 8am the next morning, five guys and two trucks showed up and went to work. We stepped out to run some errands and when we came back a few hours later, they had totally cleared out the house. it was amazing! We drove to the new place and they unloaded everything just as nicely, and I was amazed at how smooth the process was. Why hadn't we done this before?

We're beginning to settle in nicely to the new place after lots of help from our folks to unpack and watch the kids while we got the dangerous stuff out of reach. I'm sure we'll be looking for stuff in boxes for months, but it already feels like home!

Keepin' the Beat

2011-03-18T14:34:00.002-04:00

2011-03-13T23:22:00.000-04:00

Tonight as I was rocking Josiah, he was playing with my ears and honking my nose playfully. We giggled together for a while, then I put him in his bed and said goodnight. As I got up to leave, he said, "no don't go...sit." I sat back down in the rocker and pulled a blanket over me like I was going to sleep too, and he smiled.

"Night night, Josiah."

"Night night, Daddy."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

And just like that, he had said the words that I had been waiting for since he was born. Sure, he echoed back the words before when we would say it to him, but I secretly always wanted him to say it without being prompted. I always tell him how much I love him, and he usually says, "Mmm hmm." But there's something about actually hearing him say, "I love you too" that makes it real and personal and reciprocal; like he knows the enormity of my love for him and he loves me back just as much.

I love that sweet boy!

God is in the Details

2011-03-12T21:16:00.000-05:00

What a crazy week! After being pushed back every day since Feb. 25, we FINALLY had settlement on our new house on Friday! I'm notoriously impatient when it comes to stuff like that, and it was hard to know if this was God trying to develop my character by teaching me patience or that He just didn't want us to have the house. But in our final pre-closing walk-through the day of closing, I was upstairs in what will be one of the kids' rooms and a beautiful red-crested woodpecker landed on the poplar tree just outside the window! I come from a birdwatching family, so I could appreciate that woodpeckers are rare in this season, so I took it as a sign from God that we were on the right track!

We were showing the house to our folks today and some of the neighbors stopped by. We discovered that it was the only house in the cul-de-sac to come up for sale in 12 years! Apparently everyone loves the neighborhood! What was truly funny was that our neighbors attent the church that Amy & I were married in! In fact, Amy's mother had our neighbor in her Sunday school class! What a riot!

We're just overjoyed with how God moved in this whole process; in finding the place, providing it at a good price and allowing us to keep this house while we make the transition. I know we're going to love the new neighborhood (and my 4 minute commute to the church) and can't wait to get this place sold!

Three Years of Josiah

2011-03-09T20:58:00.002-05:00

newborn shot

1st birthday

2nd birthday

3rd birthday

3 Years Ago Today...

2011-02-12T22:57:00.001-05:00

It was three years ago today that we got the call.
It was the one we'd been waiting for our whole life.
Read the details from the original post below . . .

http://dagerhart.blogspot.com/2008/02/call.html

Everything But the Picket Fence!

2011-02-10T23:59:00.000-05:00

You're looking at our new house! After months of searching and praying, Amy and I found a foreclosure in our area and felt like the time was right to pull the trigger. In fact, everything seemed to work so smoothly that we Hand of God was unmistakeable in the process.

We had to make some difficult decisions: do we wait until our house sells and try to find something that we may not like, or do we buy something more and have Faith that God has a buyer for our house? While risky, we chose the latter because the new house was everything we were looking for. It's 4 minutes from church, 7 minutes from my folks, and 15 from Amy's folks'. The park and elementary schol is within walking distance, and the house is a corner lot on a quiet cul-de-sec with lots of open space adjoining the property for the kids to run and play.

Settlement is Feb 28th, so most of the paperwork work is already done. After closing, we'll do some painting and have new carpet installed then begin the big move! It's a pretty exciting time!

What Do You Do?

2011-02-10T14:13:00.000-05:00

With two working parents, it's always a juggle. Last night however, an unexpected twist was thrown into the mix . . .

On Wednesdays, I have office hours at church in the morning and an evening rehearsal at 7pm. My Mom watches the kids all day until Amy and I both return at 4:30 for family dinner. Yesterday, Amy had a dinner with her colleagues that would take her right up to the time that I would need to leave for my rehearsal at church. We decided that it was tight, but do-able.

I got home at 4:30 and got caught up on the news of the day from my Mom. Josiah was sad to see hear leave, but he was ready for supper, so I got them fed and ready for Amy's arrival at 6:30. She calls my cell to tell me that she had a flat tire . . . AAA won't be there for an hour! There's no way she can be home in time and there's no way I can leave for my rehearsal.

My Mom lives about 30 minutes away, so I called Amy's Mom and asked if she could come right over. Thankfully she did, and I was able to get to rehearsal in reasonably good time. But it really does take a village! Just when you think you can handle things, something unexpected reminds you that we're totally dependent on the Grace of God ( . . . and the invaluable help of Mom Mom and Grammy!)

"...in sickness and in health..."

2011-02-05T17:33:00.001-05:00

I woke up feeling pretty good Tuesday morning. My Mom came over to watch the kids around 9:00 and I was about to leave for work when I felt a little weird. A slight headache quickly turned to nausea; minutes later I was violently ill with one of the worst 24-hour bugs that I've ever had! It hit me like a freight train; I was fine one minute than the next had a fever, cold sweats, and was dehydrated.

Thank God my Mom was there to manage the kids. Josiah was in day care, so it was just Asher and Annie, but I was useless. I began to feel better that evening, so I told her that I didn't need her to come over the following day. But when Wednesday morning rolled around, I was hit with a second wave of nastiness; only this time all three kids were home and I didn't have any help!

There hasn't been a time in my life when I felt as helpless as I did Wednesday morning. I was trying to manage the kids in between throwing up and the physical and emotional strain was overwhelming. I ended up calling Amy's Mom and she came over around 1:30 when the kids were in bed, giving me the precious gift of rest. I could have called her sooner, but there was a part of me that felt like I had to do it. It was my responsibility to take care of the kids on my own, no matter the cost or how I was feeling. I wondered how my Mom did it when she was sick so many years ago. I wondered how single Moms do it all the time.

Well, the unfortunate epilogue to this story is that the virus spread from me to Annie to Amy to my Mom to Amy's Mom. All have reported the exact same symptoms; in fact Amy's Mom said she hasn't been that sick since she was pregnant with Amy! While you can never really predict or prevent the spread of a virus, I feel particularly bad that my Mom and Amy's Mom got sick. They were only exposed to the virus because they were helping me with the kids, so it's kind of a sick irony (no pun intended).

So we're just getting back to "normal" after a very trying week. We're all feeling better and giving the house a good cleaning so that the boys don't catch it.

Heartbreaking Tears

2011-01-31T13:23:00.000-05:00

The other night, we took the gang out to Friendly's for some dinner. They were pretty rammy and we were just about at our wit's end when Josiah decided to climb across the top of the table. I held him back by the arm and said, "Josiah" very sternly. He slumped back into his seat and behaved.

His head was turned away from me and I figured he was playing with one of his cars, but Amy said, "Look, he's crying..." Sure enough, big crocodile tears were streaming down his cheek. He worked to quickly brush them away and didn't want to show us that he was crying. I gave him a hug and told him that he just couldn't behave like that in a public place and that we never climb on tables and he calmed down. Yet he never made a sound. He just sat there too proud to admit that he was crying. I have bo idea where he learned it, because neither of us jave ever done that.

We don't raise our voices in our house. I think too many families yell and scream at their kids and at the end of the day, all the yelling just isn't effective. It's intimidating and frightening and indicative of a parent that's lost control of their emotions. Parenting is grace-driven and requires an enormous amount of patience. All of us will fail and lose our patience with our kids at times, but it has to be the exception rather than the rule. I think Josiah was reacting to a level of intensity in my voice that he wasn't used to that frightened him. It was unsettling and ultimately emotionally overwhelming to his sweet spirit and the tears flowed. I'm so thankful for that sweet little man and the wonderful spirit within. He's just the sweetest, kindest child. We're so fortunate to be a part of his story!

There's "No" Place Like Home

2011-01-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

Ugh...maybe it's his age, and I know it's just a phase, but Josiah is really testing the limits by telling us "No" at home. I blame day care. Seriously though, I'm just not sure where this is coming from. It could be the change in his routine or the fact that he's hearing and seeing new behavior in day care, but I'm not lovin' it. I just want my sweet boy that always wants to snuggle and says, "OK, Daddy" when I ask him to do something. Now when we ask him to eat dinner or to clean up his toys, it's "No" with a defiant little furrow of his brow. Sometimes he'll even sit on the floor for emphasis.

...always an adventure!

Gotcha!

2011-01-21T06:49:00.001-05:00

I finally captured Asher's smiles...

All Smiles!

2011-01-17T14:33:00.000-05:00

While I have yet to capture it on camera, asher has begun to smile in response to our smiles! He particularly likes when Josiah plays with him and smiles ear to ear when his big brother comes over and lies down next to him. When he smiles, Josiah says, "look Daddy...Asher smiling!"

He's got a lot of the same facial expressions as Annie, so it's anybody's guess as to who he'll look like. Right not we looks a lot like me, but I think Annie is a pretty unique mix of Amy and I and Asher will probably follow suit. He's growing nicely at 11lbs 11oz and while not yet on the charts, he's at the 90th percentile for preemies, so we may see him on the growth chart in the next few visits.

First Day of "School"

2011-01-16T02:41:00.000-05:00

We decided that it would be good for Josiah (and Annie) if he went to day care two days a week. He doesn't get much social interaction outside of church and play dates, and the structured environment will be great for his growth and development. Plus it will give Annie and opportunity to shine at home without big brother always vying for attention.

So he went with Amy to pick out a backpack (Thomas the train, of course). After two short introductory sessions, he was ready to go. He really liked the kids and the class in general, and was so excited to go. I wasn't prepared to see his empty bed Friday morning. I thought he had let himself out and gone downstairs; I called for him and I panicked for a brief moment when he didn't answer. Until I realized that he had gone into work with Amy...the day care is on the same campus as the hospital, so they can commute together.

Not having J around all day took some getting used to. I hated it, to be honest. But I know that it's really good for him, and to see him so excited only confirms that we're doing the right thing. I expected that Annie would be really upset by his absence, but ironically she didn't even notice he was gone! She never asked for him and never really ventured toward his room or anything. She just asked for breakfast and went about her day playing as usual. Weird...

Baby Bartender

2011-01-13T08:53:00.001-05:00

I feel like a baby bartender. Well maybe baby waiter is more accurate, but I like alliteration. I find myself filling "orders" from the kids all day like, "more joice, Daddy" and "milk, please." And I've uncontiously begun responding with, "you bet" and "coming right up" and even "what can I getcha?" In fact, I was just informed by Josiah that his waffle is too cold. He wants it hot...and with syrup.

Josiah is really funny; he refuses to eat or drink from anything with a speck of dirt on it. Sounds good, right? Well try to rinse out a sippy cup and re-use it...he calls you on it! I had to clean off his cup yesterday four times (no joke) because he kept on finding specs of peanut butter or oatmeal on the outside of the cup...that he put there at breakfast! Sure, I should give him a new, freshly washed cup every time he's thirsty. Do you know how many dishes three kids generate? And then they leave them all over the house with milk curdling in them. That's always a good time right there.

I should start running them a tab... [grin]

Coming to the Surface

2011-01-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

So I guess I have some explaining to do. For my extended absence, that is. I had intended to blog every day, but three kids under three sure changed that! Honestly, it's just been harder this time around. I don't spring out of bed when I hear him crying like I did for Josiah. What once felt like a proud "daddy moment" now just feels like sleep deprivation. And our tiny 1300 sq. ft. house is filled to capacity with STUFF...I mean everywhere!

But life goes on. Amy goes back to work next week bringing her three months of maternity leave to a close. She wasn't entitled to paid leave, so we thought we were going to take a huge financial hit, but AMAZINGLY her co-workers donated their sick pay to her and it kept us afloat until the last few weeks. In addition, they provided her with three huge bags full of Christmas presents for the kids to open Christmas morning, a gesture that brought tears to Amy's eyes when she realized they wer four our kids. Her job has been amazing and they can't wait to have her back.

My transition is going pretty well, too. Moving from being an engineer/producer at a recording studio to being the associate worship pastor at a church of over 4000 members was weird...I mean, I was one of 5 people on staff at MorningStar and now I'd adjusting to a more corporate environment with lots of staff and and IT department and a copier that staples. (I mean, I was REALLY impressed by the copier that staples!)

So what's next? I'm thinking a bigger house is going to be a necessity pretty soon. We'll keep you posted. Until then, I promise that I'll try harder to keep the blog updated with the various bits of wonderfulness that is parenthood.

Annie Turns 2

2011-01-05T21:03:00.000-05:00

Two years old. I can hardly believe this is my little girl! The one that I could hold in the palms of my hands when she was 3 pounds. She's getting so big!

Annie is the quintessential sillyheart. She loves to laugh and play and she runs up to give her Daddy a kiss on the lips and says, "Hi Daddy!" She just has a way of making you feel like you're the most important person in the world.

Haloween

2011-01-05T20:59:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that it's been this long since I've posted! I missed sharing some truly wonderful memories, so I'll go back and post a few of the highlights.

For Halloween, Josiah was Peter Pan and Annie was Tinker Bell. Asher was Captain Hook, of course. People loved his costume, but they kept mistaking him for Robin Hood.

Kiddie LoJack

2010-11-21T10:57:00.000-05:00

Any parent that's ever lost track of their kids--even for a second--knows the shear panic that follows. Adrenaline surges through your body as you frantically look for them, trying not to fear the worst. It's one of my biggest fears, especially with three all going different directions. I've heard that some countries implant little GPS chips just underneath the skin, and I'll be honest, I've considered it to keep them out of harm's way.

Then I was looking my AT&T account online, I noticed that they have a feature called "family locator" where for an additional $9.99 per month, you can locate any phone on your account at any time. What a great idea! I mean, get a few cheapo phones that have a GPS chip and stick it in their pockets. If they wander away, activate the "family locator" feature and you can get right to them!

Potty Time!

2010-11-14T22:10:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm still here. It's been challenging managing the new job and the new baby, so the blog has taken a back seat for a few weeks, but we're alive and well.

In recent news, Josiah is doing really well on the potty! He lets us know when he has to go (or just strips off his clothes) and sits on the potty and pees. He gets a jelly bean afterwards, so we hear him say "potty" then "bean" which is pretty cute.

Annie is just such a wonderfully happy child. She's talking up a storm and just loves to play and laugh. She does have her moments when she goes into fits of uncontrollable hysteria. It's hard to deal with because I don't know what brings it on and she doesn't have the tools to calm herself down. It's really hard to watch and all I can do is hold her as she trembles and shakes and screams. I even took her to the pediatrician and they confirmed that she's absolutely fine...she's "just mad." But she's an absolute joy

Asher continues to do well. He's sleeping wonderfully for us, albeit three hours at a time. He's pretty laid back, though. Not too fussy and willing to travel, which is nice, because we got pretty stir crazy with the restrictions that the NICU put on Annie the first six week she was home.

More to follow.

Baby Steps

2010-11-06T14:18:00.000-04:00

I was at my cardiologist appointment the other day and we were discussing that I had gained 6 pounds (when the goal was to LOSE weight...) He asked what was going on and I explained that life happened. The stress of the baby and the constant travelling back and forth to the NICU for 6 weeks took it's toll on our attempt to eat healthy. He understood that it's a stressful time, but he said, "I have a challenge for you; if I can do it, you can do it!"

The plan was simple, and it was just the baby step that I needed. Part 1 was simply NO FAST FOOD. Period. After watching Supersize Me, Food, Inc and Fast Food Nation, I recognize the damage that we're doing to our bodies by endulging in that garbage, but with three kids and two working parents we sometimes bow to convenience. Yes, eating healthy is expensive. It's time-consuming. And it requires planning. But I can't in good conscience feed poison to my kids; I want them to make healthy choices and we need to model behavior that we expect from them

Part 2 was NO SODA. There's just way too much sugar in it. We're drinking so many calories that we don't even realize that we're consuming our caloric intake for the day in one Big Gulp!

Of course, I need to excercize regularly, and I recently purchased Tony Horton's 10-minute workout so I'm going to give that a whirl. I need the energy to keep up with Josiah!

Homecoming Photos

2010-10-28T10:25:00.003-04:00

HOMECOMING!!

2010-10-28T04:26:00.001-04:00

Wash hands. Dry. Apply hand sanitizer. Check temperature and report to nurse. Diaper change (weigh the diaper). Swaddle. Make sure his hat is on. Pickup baby to hold him for 30-60 minutes.

That was our routine for 6 weeks. Six weeks. Hard to believe we didn't go crazy driving back and forth to the NICU. But our little Asher man was discharged last Friday and we've been enjoying every second of having him at home! Of course I could do without the all-too-familiar feeling of exhaustion that comes with regular feedings every 3 hours, but I know that we only have a few months of the sleep deprivation part.

Asher was 3lbs 3oz at birth and 5lbs 13oz at discharge! His eating really improved after the blood transfusion, so I was thankful for the good call on the Doctor's part. He went from being weak and frail to strong and healthy with a forceful suck when he takes his bottles. No longer forgetting to breathe, we didn't have to pace him to make sure he didn't choke.

My favorite part of Asher's homecoming has been watching Josiah with Asher. He's absolutely in love! From the moment we arrived home, Josiah wanted to be close to his baby brother. He hugs and kisses him and rubs his little back when he cries. It's seriously too adorable!

New Job

2010-10-25T00:56:00.000-04:00

Here's the full story on the new job, as posted on the church blog.

http://encounteronline.blogspot.com/2010/10/new-chapter.html

2010-10-23T22:44:00.007-04:00

Steven Curtis Chapman was featured in the latest issue of "Wood & Steel"–the quarterly publication of Taylor guitars. He designed a signature guitar in memory of his 5-year-old adopted daughter Maria, who was killed in a tragic accident a few years ago. I can barely breathe every time I think about their loss and what that kind of grief must feel like; yet his comments were filled with hope:

We were desperate to see something that would tell us that our faith is real in this moment of such great, deep despair. In our dining room there’s a little art table that two of my daughters would sit at and color, and Maria had a little flower that she would draw. It was kind of her signature flower. It was on all of her papers, and she’d color in all the petals different colors. I noticed there was a little flower drawn on a piece of paper on the table, and that was the only piece of art that was out. She’d been sitting there the morning of the accident, so I knew this was something she’d done that day. But I noticed only one petal was colored in and the rest of them were blank. She had just done the outline and gotten one petal col- ored in — her favorite color, blue, the one she always started with. Then I noticed something else bleeding through the paper, some- thing she had written on the back. She had just turned 5; she could write ‘I love you, Mom,’ ‘I love you, Dad,’ and she could sign her name, and those were the only words that she would write. I turned the paper over, and there was a little butterfly that she had drawn — another signature picture she would draw a lot — and then right beside it were the letters ‘SEE.’ And to our knowledge, she’d never written it before. It was, for us, a very precious gift; we felt like God was answering that cry of our heart to let us see something. And in Maria’s own words, she said, ‘See, it’s all true, it’s all good, I’m OK.’ And as we looked more at that unfinished flower, it became a really important message to us, because we have six children and real- ized that there are six petals on the flower, but only one of them is colored in. It’s a message that, ‘I’m whole, I’m complete now. I know it was only five years; it seems short in your idea of understanding right now, but you’re gonna see it and realize I’m whole. The rest of you are waiting for your colors.

New Chapter (Part 2)

2010-10-21T14:54:00.000-04:00

If you missed the first part of this story, click HERE

I recently resigned from my job at the recording studio where I've spent the last decade because I heard clearly from God that it was time to leave. I didn't know exactly what He had in store, but I leapt knowing that He would catch me . . .

Today I became the new Associate Worship Director at BranchCreek Community Church, where I've been serving for the last 7 years. I'll be providing leadership for both the Encounter service and the new Family venue where we're providing a worship service for families to worship with their children. I'm both excited and humbled by the position because I know that it's going to require a great deal of work. But at the same time, it couldn't be more clear that this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life right now, and I'm just happy to be where He wants me.

Breathing A Sigh Of Relief

2010-10-18T13:17:00.000-04:00

We were told yesterday that Asher did NOT, in fact, have an inguinal hernia! The swelling was just an undescended testicle, which can often present as a hernia and is commonly misdiagnosed in the initial stages.

He's been taking 4 bottles in a row, so his eating has really progressed since the transfusion. If he keeps up this pace, he'll be home by the and of this week. Here's hopin'

Surgery Follow-Up

2010-10-16T00:51:00.000-04:00

I spent a few hours with Asher tonight just holding him and helping him with his bottle. The blood transfusion yesterday really seemed to help! He "pinked up" nicely and he's eating and pacing himself nicely (i.e. taking breaths every few gulps). Still a few monitor violations, (mostly desats and bradys) but he responded well to the treatment.

I got some information tonight explaining the inguinal hernia, and there doesn't seem to be a way around the surgery. However we can push it back until Asher is 6 months old, so he doesn't have to have it done right away. I'm really uncomfortable about him being under general anestesia, but it's necessary for the procedure. On the bright side, since they have him under they can do the circumcision as well to save him from some pain.

But we can find a pediatric surgeon later...right now I just want him home!

What A Day...

2010-10-15T00:11:00.002-04:00

God has been teaching me patience lately...and it sucks. I'm waiting for some final housekeeping things to be resolved with the old job, waiting to hear from a potential new job, and waiting for Asher to come home. Then today on my way up to visit Asher, I missed the exit and had to drive another 20 miles until I could turn around and drive 20 miles back to the exit I should have taken. [The PA Turnpike is very unforgiving; if you miss an exit, there is literally nowhere to pull over or turn around until the next exit.] I watched the ETA on my GPS go from "5 minutes" to "58 minutes."

I was angry and frustrated; I just wanted to see my son, yet I was totally powerless to get to him any faster. I said aloud, "God, what are you trying to teach me? I don't understand what you're doing..." I wish I could say that I had an epiphany at that moment but I still don't know what I'm supposed to be learning other than to be anxious about nothing and to wait on the Lord.

I held Asher for over an hour. I talking and sang to him as I caressed his tiny fingers and rubbed the soles of his footie pajamas. What a miraculous little creature! The doctor caught up with me and explained that his blood count was pretty low and that he was anemic. He recommended a blood transfusion and went over all the risks and benefits. We consented to the procedure and and she left early from work to be with him. We didn't want him to be alone. It's a pretty routine thing, and the extra blood will help him "pink up" a bit as well as aiding in his eating and monitor events.

Asher must have been having a pretty rough day, because the pediatric opthamologist was there as well. He needed to perform the dreaded "preemie eye exam." He uses a speculum-type device to hold Asher's eyes open while he manipulates the eyeball with a probe. Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds. I was with Annie when she had it done and I don't think I'll ever be the same. As he was spreading out his instruments he said to Amy, "you might now want to be here for this..." He joked that they call him "the baby torturer."

What was slightly more disturbing was some swelling that I noticed when I was changing his diaper. I mentioned it to the nurse and she said, "well, he has that inguinal hernia..." What?! We weren't told about that! So we talked to the doctor who said that it was "unremarkable" at his last exam, but if the swelling persists he would like to correct it surgically before he comes home. Yikes! Just over a months and getting blood transfusions and surgery is more stress that I need right now...

What was that I'm learning again? be anxious about nothing and to wait on the Lord...

Sweet Boy

2010-10-13T01:16:00.000-04:00

I really can't get over the sweet spirit that Josiah has. He longs to be helpful, to bring comfort and to bring joy and laughter to everyone he meets. Whether it's a "Hi" to total strangers in Home Depot or trying to make Annie laugh with by making funny faces, he's just the sweetest boy I've ever known.

Josiah is very helpful and always wants to try new things by himself. Sometimes I forget just how much he can do. He'll tell me, "No, I want to do it" or "Josiah try" and I let him give it a shot. There's just no greater joy than to watch his face light up when he says "I did it!" His eyes sparkle and his beams with accomplishment.

Tonight we was washing the dishes; he wanted to get Annie's cup just right. I insisted that it was clean enough, but he wanted to make sure it was clean for her. He brings her blanket to her when she forgets to bring it upstairs, he brings me diapers when I'm all out, and he makes sure she doesn't wander off when we're outside. His heart is just so big . . . I just love him so much!!

Josiah's Playlist

2010-10-10T01:27:00.003-04:00

Since we have an iPod in the car, I created a playlist for Josiah (and Annie loves all these songs, too!) Josiah says, "I like this song, Daddy! Turn it up!"

Big House (Audio Adrenaline)
Give the People What They Want (The O'Jays)
Tractor Tractor (Andrew Peterson & Randall Goodgame)
Piggy Little Toes (Andrew Peterson & Randall Goodgame)
American Woman (Lenny Kravitz)
Jump Up (Dan Zanes & Friends)
Tell Me Something Good (Rufus & Chaka Khan)
Victory (Yolanda Adams)
Beans (Andrew Peterson & Randall Goodgame)
Say It Right (Nelly Furtado)
What Goes Around Comes Around (Justin Timberlake)
Cry Me A River (Justin Timberlake)
Hey Ya (Outkast)
Grace Is Greater (Bart Millard)
Today Is the Day (Lincoln Brewster)
What I Like About You (The Romantics)
Single Ladies (Beyoncé)

Coming Home!

2010-10-09T08:14:00.002-04:00

Happy one month anniversary to Asher, who has surpassed his sister's 28-day stay in the NICU. It's hard to believe that he's a month old already and he has yet to meet his brother and sister. And if you add up all the visits we've had with him over the lats month, we've only really held him for a few hours. It's been tremendously hard being torn between children that need you and managing the job and household responsibilities. We're emotionally exhausted to the point that we're actually looking forward to the physical exhaustion of having an infant around!

Our visit last night was a good one. He's 4lbs 9oz and taking his feeds from the bottle really well! If he continues to progress, they'll discharge him on Wednesday! Can you believe it? Our little family will finally be whole.

bunny.MOV

2010-10-08T14:08:00.002-04:00

She's A Handful...

2010-09-30T13:16:00.001-04:00

I just got back from the pediatrician; there's absolutely nothing wrong with Annie . . . which is troubling . . .

Let me back up. This morning we were all playing nicely in the living room watching cartoons on PBS since it was raining cats and dogs outside. I stepped out to change a load of laundry when I heard Annie cry. I went back in to make sure she was OK and she was flipping out! I don't think Josiah hit her or stole a toy, but who knows. Even poor Josiah was scared!

Annie was bright red, screaming her lungs out and trying to catch her breath. She kicked her heels and pulled frantically at her hair, biting down on her favorite blanket. I scooped he up and took her upstairs for a soothing bath to see if it would calm her down, but she just writhed in the warm water. I gave her some baby tylenol and orajel, but she bit the dropper off! She was angry and in pain, so I called the pediatrician and they squeezed me right in.

There was no time to get childcare for Josiah, so he ame along for the ride and was on his very best behavior (my sweet boy). The nurse tried to weigh her and you'd think she was having an aneurism or something! She tried to lead from the scale as the nurse tried to subdue her long enough to get her weight. The nurse said, "she's strong!" to which I could only agree and add, "and feisty... She settled down long enough for the pediatrician to examine her and declar her to be perfectly healthy. I was sure that she had an ear infection or sinus trouble, bue she was fit as a fiddle. The pediatrician said that this might be the beginning of the tantrum stage. The BEGINNING?! Have you seen my YouTube videos of her tantrums?! They get WORSE?! Oy vey . . .

. . . I so wished it was an ear infection . . .

New Chapter (part 1)

2010-09-26T22:27:00.005-04:00

Well it's official. On Friday I resigned from my job at MorningStar Studios where I've spent the last 10 years of my life. It was time to move on. With Asher coming home in a few weeks, I knew that I needed to get my house in order–both figuratively and literally–and this was a tough decision that needed to be made.

Believe it or not, I don't have another job lined up. I'm just stepping out on faith believing that God has something better. I just know it. When I started at the studio back in 2001, I was filled with the promise and wonder at the opportunities that lie ahead. Ten years later, having exhausted my potential there, I knew that I needed a change. Not just a job change but a career change.

I'm a big advocate of doing what you love, and I honestly loved going to the studio every day. I loved hanging out with the musicians; talking the talk and being a part of the music scene. But something was different this last week. I didn't have that love or excitement for the job anymore, and God was convicting me about letting my talents go to waste. I realized that in my pursuit of success and acclaim, I failed to cultivate my own God-given gifts! That's why at the end of a very long week of work, I literally felt as if I couldn't breathe until I sent in my resignation. And when I sent it, and overwhelming sense of peace washed over me. I was free. Free to do that which He has called me to do. What is that, exactly? Stay tuned...

3 kids, 5 hospitals

2010-09-25T00:14:00.001-04:00

I was thinking about all the different hospitals we've been to in the last 3 years. Pretty crazy that it takes 5 different hospitals to deliver 3 babies!

Josiah was the only straight-forward pregnancy; Patricia had a health term baby at Einstein Hospital in Philadelphia. Annie started out at Lansdale Hospital but was airlifted to Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia when Amy began dialating at 30 weeks. Thinking that we wouldn't have any complications this time around, Asher started out at Grand View Hospital but was transported to Lehigh Valley Hospital in Allentown.

It's a shame they don't offer frequent flyer miles...

Neighborhood Jam

2010-09-23T12:02:00.003-04:00

DIRECTOR'S NOTE: sorry for the poor camerawork...I was recording and playing shaker at the same time...

Our Little Graduate!

2010-09-19T23:05:00.000-04:00

When we went into the NICU to see Asher today, we wasn't in his regular spot. After a brief moment of panic, the nurses told us that they had some critical admissions over the night and that Asher had graduated to from his home in Nursery A (intensive care) to Nursery E (feeders & growers). He is totally stable with the occasional apnea episode, but he is surpassing every expectation that they've had for him! His main goal now is to continue to eat and get lots of rest so that he can continue to grow and his brain & lungs can mature.

So Close, Yet So Far Away

2010-09-18T01:43:00.004-04:00

Having a baby in the NICU is hard. Though we walked through this with Annie, the feeling of helplessness doesn't get any easier the second time around. Seeing your child in a plastic box with computers monitoring their breathing, heart rate and temperature feels more like a science experiment than parenthood. And you have to fight the primal urge to scoop up your child and hold them.

We had a difficult visit earlier this week. We arrived at the NICU at the wrong time and weren't able to hold Asher. We could only gaze longingly through the plastic walls of his isolette while he slept. Our nurse explained that 30 week babies can't expend any extra energy; they need every calorie they can muster for lung and brain development. I was angry that I was standing so close to my son yet I was separated by a chasm of plastic, being gently admonished by the nurses not to handle my own baby.

We were given a precious gift with Asher's early arrival which sometimes overshadows the fact that he still needs 10 weeks in utero to mature. Just because he's early doesn't mean that he can forgo those crucial weeks of development, and I have to respect the process and be patient (not my strong suit.) God's timing is perfect, and I know that Asher will join Josiah & Annie at home when He is good and ready.

Ella

2010-09-16T00:04:00.000-04:00

The other day, we took a trip out to the farm to visit my sister. (It was actually scheduled for last Tuesday, but with Amy being in labor and all . . . ) We hadn't seen their cousins Christian and Sarah for a while and we were anxious to meet little Ella.

Ella was a Bethany baby born within a few days of Josiah . . . at he same hospital! She is a wonderful, whimsical child that talks like a 5 year old reasons like an "old soul." We were just tickled to meet her and I hit it off with her right away! I was curious to see Josiah's reaction to another little black girl exactly the same age that was also adopted into a white family. Would he gravitate to her? Would he notice that they had something in common? Would they be kindred spirits? Would they instinctively know how to dance and clap on beats 2 and 4?

Josiah's reaction was no reaction at all. He might have said hello, but he basically played with Christian and the tractor and did "boy stuff." He didn't notice that Ella was black; I'm not sure he even noticed that she was a girl. He just saw kids to play with and he had fun playing. As parents, we were all waiting for some sort of reaction; but it wasn't even on their radar. It just didn't occur to either of them that they were different in any way.

Pretty cool, huh?

Epilogue: An Explanation (Part 2)

2010-09-12T01:21:00.002-04:00

One of the questions we get all the time is, "why do you think the babies came early?" For both Annie and Asher, Amy experienced a placental abruption where the placenta peels away from the inner wall of the uterus before delivery. It's considered an uncommon and serious complication of pregnancy. Two in a row is unheard of!

Further inspection of Asher's placenta led the attending physician to conclude that there may be a vascular problem in the uterus starving the placenta of blood. Based on this discovery and his mantra, "we tent to repeat past obstetric performance", he believes we have a 100% chance of abruption in future pregnancies. In his opinion, the abruption led to the pre-term labor in both cases and he cautioned us about future pregnancies by saying, "if you were thinking of having more biological kids...don't."

This would have been such a slap in the face had we not been such strong advocates for adoption. We knew that he was right...having more biological children would be extremely dangerous so we're taking this as a sign from God that if He calls us to have more children, it'll be though adoption.

Asher's Arrival (Part 1)

2010-09-12T01:05:00.002-04:00

ACT I:
Amy went to work on Tuesday (9/7) even though she was feeling pretty lousy. I texted her to ask if she was OK, because I had a dream that the baby was coming. She texted back saying that she felt lousy and said she would call her doctor it didn't get any better. Around noon, she called her doctor who suggested that she be monitored. Luckily, Amy works at the hospital were we planned to deliver, so she was able to go down to maternity and check herself in. She called to let me know, and I quickly got coverage for the kids and headed down to be with her. The contractions were pretty strong, but after 5 rounds of Terbutaline the contractions gradually subsided. Amy's doctor ordered bedrest and discharged her around 5:00 pm. We picked up the kids, drove home and got them into bed. We fell asleep that night wondering how we were going to make it work with our only source of income on bedrest...

ACT II:
Amy woke me at 3:00 am with painful contractions 3-5 minutes apart. I called her doctor who told us to get back to the hospital right away! We dressed, got the kids into the van and dropped them off at my parents' house, then arrived at the hospital around 4:15am. They again monitored her contraction and administered Terbutaline, but now she was 2cm dilated (not what you want at only 30 weeks pregnant.) History was repeating itself; it was beginning to look like Amy was once again going into pre-term labor. Our hospital wasn't equipped to handle high-risk pregnancies, so Amy was transferred via ambulance to Lehigh Valley Hospital 30 minutes away.

ACT III:
Amy arrived at Lehigh around 7:00am. They got her all setup and took her history and started her on magnesium to ease the contractions. However another exam revealed that she was dilated 7 cm! They immediately moved her to labor and delivery to prepare for the baby's arrival. She got an epidural at 10:15 and she was finally getting some relief from the pain. The rest is a blur of activity. Our two doctors geared up for delivery, three nurses were standing by checking the IV lines and watching the monitors. Four neonatologists gathered around the warmer to take the baby upon arrival. Then, at 12:58, I heard a cry and saw this tiny little man being whisked over to the neonatologists!! They invited me over to watch as the checked his vitals, and everything looked good! They presented him to Amy for a few seconds, then again whisked him away to the NICU where he would be living for at least the next 6 weeks.

Asher Daniel Gerhart

2010-09-08T14:28:00.001-04:00

Born 9/8/10 at 12:58pm
3lbs 3oz, 15.75 inches
Lehigh Valley Hospital

Deja vu

2010-09-07T16:19:00.001-04:00

I was joking with Amy that we just hit the 30 week mark in her pregnancy, and anything over 30 weeks in uncharted territory. Well here we are again, in the hospital at 30 weeks with Amy attached to monitors being injected with all sorts of drugs to delay the inevitable...another Gerhart baby that wants to storm onto the scene 10 weeks early.

Amy has been feeling lousy for a few days now, but today was particularly bad. After my last post, it would seem that my feeling of serenity was really just the calm before the storm. She called the doctor around 11:30 with contractions every three minutes and they told her to get to the hospital. I called Amy's mom to watch the kids over their nap time, grabbed a few items for an overnight bag, and headed to the hospital.

So far, she's been contracting pretty regularly, although they have been slowed with meds. We've been here for above 4 hours and not sure if we'll be sent home or stay to deliver, but it's an exciting time very reminiscent of our days with Annie.

Location:Lawn Ave,Sellersville,United States

Sweet Reminder

2010-09-07T00:30:00.003-04:00

This past weekend was wrought with challenges: Amy was having Braxton-Hicks contractions and I managed to throw out my back, so we were both in terrible pain and generally miserable but tried to put on a happy face for the kids. What's worse is that it wrapped up a miserable week of record heat and humidity forcing us inside all week. We were all going a little bit crazy . . .

And then there was Labor Day. A bright, beautiful 70º day with a light breeze and picturesque clouds hanging lazily in the sky. I stepped out onto our patio this morning and saw a beautiful Monarch butterfly on the ground. I inched closer and offered my index finger and to my amazement, it hopped on and calmly flexed it's wings! It was my own little miracle; something that I had only seen in the movies. What had previously crawled around as a caterpillar had transformed into the most colorful of creatures! God did that! In fact, he's in the transformation business...If we're in Christ, we are a new Creation...He's made all things new!

Childlike Faith

2010-08-27T14:11:00.001-04:00

Contentment

2010-08-24T23:52:00.000-04:00

If you haven't already read the news on Facebook, Amy and I decided to take the house off the market. Countless showings with no interest (let alone offers) finally took its toll on us, and we pulled the plug. Showing a house with toddlers proved nearly impossible, and the feedback from the showings was all the same: they couldn't see past the neighborhood.

It's funny that today's reading in "Our Daily Bread" was on contentment because that's the main reason that I gave up on selling the house months ago. As I read all the negative feedback about our neighborhood, I realized that they couldn't see what I saw: A racially mixed block with toddlers at nearly every house; walking distance from walking paths and a huge playground; zero crime; one of the best school districts in the state; great proximity to shopping, church and both our families. We couldn't find all that if we tried! And kids weren't even on the radar when we bought the place. God knew exactly what we needed and He went forth and provided a perfect place to raise a family within a rich, culturally diverse community. We all sit out on out front porches and chat at night and take turns watching the kids. Everybody looks out for everybody else, and we're not afraid to scold each other's kids when they get too close to the street. It's one of the last true neighborhoods, and I love it!

When you learn to be content, you take all the power away from "The Joneses" and trying to keep up. You can release all that stress and anxiety of trying to be the "haves" rather than the "have nots" and spend your time and energy raising your family rather than working yourself to death to make them comfortable.

He's Kicking!

2010-08-22T23:33:00.000-04:00

Baby Boy was kicking up a storm last night! It was so exciting, because I never got to feel Annie kick. It was something that I had never experienced until last night, and I was giddy with excitement! I spoke right to Amy's belly and said, "hello, baby..." and he just started kicking! The way he responded to my voice just made my heart soar!

Ladies First

2010-08-21T15:13:00.000-04:00

Spending six years living in Tennessee taught us a great deal. One of our favorite things was the emphasis places on manners among the children in our church. It was that basic set of principles that we wanted to instill in our own children. Respect for others, waiting their turn, sharing, please and thank you, and ladies first. It's really cute to hear Josiah say, "Daddy please" when he wants something then "thank you, Daddy" when he gets it. And Annie's little "shank shoo" is such a delight to hear!

One of the harder lessons has been the concept of ladies first. But I think Josiah is getting the hang of it by repetition. Annie is the first one out of the tub, the first one into the car and the first on seated at dinner. The other day, J was thirsty and asked for juice. I filled his cup and gave it to him. He said, "Annie" and ran over and gave it to her then came back with another cup for him. Priceless!!

Have You Seen This?

2010-08-18T09:10:00.002-04:00

Brazillian baby bustin' a move. You can't tell me babies aren't born with rhythm...

A "Tragic Accident"

2010-08-16T21:42:00.005-04:00

This is slightly off topic, but I have to weigh in. I caught this story on the news tonight and have been angered/sickened/saddened all at the same time. This boy was playing "cops and robbers" and police are calling the incident "a tragic accident."

Royersford boy, 4, killed self with father's gun, coroner says

By Robert Moran and Julia Terruso

Inquirer Staff Writers

A 4-year-old boy apparently shot himself by accident Monday afternoon in his Montgomery County home, the county coroner said. Royersford police were called to the two-story brick twin on Chestnut Street about 12:45 p.m., responding to a report that someone had been shot, authorities said. Michael DeSantis was found with a gunshot wound to his head, authorities said. He died at Pottstown Memorial Medical Center.

"The child apparently shot himself with a weapon that belonged to his father," said Walter I. Hofman, the coroner.

On the front lawn, visitors created a memorial of stuffed animals, candles, a card of condolence, and a copy of the children's book Goodnight Moon.

I'm a gun enthusiast, and I had to make some tough decisions when we decided to adopt. I enjoy my right to bear arms, and I own a nice 9mm handgun and several shotguns. While I shoot mainly for sport and fellowship with the guys from church, I wanted to be able to protect my family from intruders as well. I contemplated the lock safe with the fingerprint scanner, the whole nine yards, but at the end of the day, I didn't want this to happen to me. I got rid of everything and gave it to my Dad.

Boy am I glad!

Josiah is wicked smart. He gets into things faster than I can stop him, and has figured out ways to open, unscrew, escape from and otherwise exceed my expectations of his abilities. Sure, maybe he's never find the gun and he'd certainly never figure out the exact order of steps to load, cock and fire the gun. But there's a family tonight that's saying goodbye to their son. And for what?

unbelievable

4-H Fair

2010-08-15T22:19:00.003-04:00

Every year, the 4-H fair comes to town, and we always love going. The kids have a blast and Amy and I have fond memories of her horse shows back in high school. In fact, we always go visit the trophy display to see her "State Champion" silver plate and photo with her beloved quarterhorse, Teri. The animals are all on display and the kids love getting up close to the sheep, goats, bunnies, cows and ponies. This year, they even had a hand-crank train that went around in circles. Josiah LOVED it!

For whatever reason, this year Josiah was pretty timid around the animals. He usually loved petting them, but they all seemed too frightening this time around and he clung to my leg and demanded to be held. I don't understand the regression, but I was happy to hold my big boy!

Divine Intervation

2010-08-13T20:44:00.001-04:00

Remember our poor TV? Well God intervened once again! The day before Josiah broke the screen, we had a repair guy come out because we lost the picture. He said, "yeah, the panel is gone. I'll have to order a part. Should take about a week to come in."

Well he called tonight (one week later) to let us know that the part was no longer available so he was authorized to exchange the TV for a new one! And because we had bought the extended warranty, his visit and the new TV are all FREE. Oh, it gets better: when we bought the TV, we couldn't afford one with 1080p resolution so we got one with 720p. The replacement will be a full 1080p with 60hz refresh rate...even and extra HDMI input! (Your husbands will know what I'm talking about...lol)

It's just stuff, and we'd be fine without it. Heck, we lived far less for years! But it's just a reminder that God's a provider...in the big and the small things. No, the TV is not important, but the reminder is.

Black Babies: What Every Parent SHOULD Know

2010-08-12T15:38:00.000-04:00

Here are a few humorous tidbits that I've collected in our first 2.5 years of raising Baby Josiah:

1. Desitin was clearly not designed for black babies. Am I the only one offended that when my baby has a diaper rash, I have to paint his bottom white? And it's a thick, bright white, too. In fact, Josiah thinks it's paint and has used it to adorn his room on more than one occasion. They do make Desitin in "clear" which makes me feel a bit better.

2. My black baby vanishes in the dark! Maybe this should have been obvious, but it's really hard to see Josiah at night or when the lights are out! Thank goodness he has a bright white smile, 'cause otherwise I'd never find him! I try to dress him in white t-shirts when I know we're going to be out at night.

3. Black baby hair collects EVERYTHING. From crumbs to oatmeal (but not water, oddly enough) Josiah's hair traps in everything that it comes into contact with. Getting it out requires a fine-toothed comb and a lot of patience.

4. Black babies can DANCE! I've never had to teach Josiah rhythm; it came from within him. One of our AA friends said of Josiah, "he's got SOUL" and I think she's right! He's just gotta move when the music comes on, and it's different than when Annie moves (bless her heart.) It's just got a flow and a style to it that I can't explain. It's his soul!!

Expensive Lesson

2010-08-12T15:22:00.003-04:00

Until 3 years ago, Amy and I had never bought a TV. We liked the James Dobson philosophy of not having a TV for the first year of marriage, so that's what we did. After that first year, we got 13" hand-me-downs and even won a big 19" on a college scavenger hunt. We just never saw the point of investing that much money in entertainment.

However during the dark days of our infertility journey, we finally broke down and bought a ridiculously overpriced LCD "hi-def" TV. We thought we owed it to ourselves; after all, we had never bought one and we didn't have any kids to spend our money on. We needed something to look forward to together, and watching movies was pretty much it.

I've baby-proofed just about every inch of he house that the kids have access to. But it never occurred to me to baby-proof the TV. Hindsight, after all, is 20/20. While I was brushing Annie's teeth, Josiah had taken a piece of wooden train track and banged on the TV. That was all it took. The glass below the protective later broke and vertical lines replaces the once glorious picture. And of course the warranty doesn't cover unruly toddlers. All the research that I've done says that it's toast.

I sat Josiah in a time out and when he was through, I said, "Josiah, you were in a time out because you hit the TV and broke it. Can you say you're sorry?"

Josiah replied, "sorry, TV."

Dancing with Zydeco A Go-GO

2010-08-09T15:52:00.005-04:00

Last night we went to my hometown's "Concert Sundaes in the Park" series to hear Zydeco A Go-Go, a fun upbeat New Orleans style band that I worked with at MorningStar. The kids have heard them before and it's great to dance to. They had such a good time, that some new friends took Josiah up on stage for the last song to dance with the band! Josiah is the little boy in khakis swinging from side to side. After I shot this video, I took Annie up too and the band leader gave them some maracas to shake along! It was great! There was a crown of about 500 people there and it didn't phase them one bit!!

Mr. Clean

2010-08-06T23:27:00.000-04:00

Tonight, for the second time, I found myself down on my hands and knees scrubing poop out of Josiah's carpet. He's been having trouble going to sleep lately, and his boredom has manifested in mayhem. He's broken picture frames, pulled all the clothes out of his drawers, climbed on top of his dresser and smeared Desitin all over the walls. And then there was tonight.

After the last "incident" we vowed never to put him to bed in a diaper alone. I intentionally put a pair of pajama bottoms on him tonight to avoid this very thing. However when I went in to check on him a few hours ago, he had pulled off his pants, ripped off the diaper and was redecorating the room brown. Particularly disturbing was the brown crusty ring around his mouth...I don't even want to go there...

I hated to wake Amy, but we seriously needed to divide and conquer. She gave him a bath while I began scrubbing the carpets. We have a couple interested in the house coming back for a second showing on Tuesday and I really didn't want the carpets ruined before they see it again.

Poor Josiah knew that he had screwed up royally this time and he sheepishly scooted over to give Daddy and Mommy hugs and kisses. We'd welcome any sure-fire night time techniques; he only recently started this "I'm not sleepy" phase and we're at a loss!

Josiah-proof

2010-08-05T19:28:00.000-04:00

When we determined that we needed a window unit in Josiah's room, we were faced with the challenge of hot to protect him from the electrical outlet. There were no products available to keep him from pulling out the plug or his night light and getting a shock. So I used a piece of plexiglass and some all-purpose screws to create a barrier between the outlet and my curious little man.

Unprompted Kisses

2010-08-03T21:53:00.000-04:00

When I went into Josiah's room this morning, we has still sleeping. I began to close the door to let him rest when he stirred. I went back in and knelt down to hug my sleepy little man. He gently put his arms around me and kissed me on the cheek. Then he climbed down my back and kissed me on the back on his way down. It was such a priceless moment; unprompted kisses that came from his heart...as if to say, "Good morning, Daddy. I love you!"

Remembering Ada

2010-08-01T16:19:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we attended the funeral for my great Aunt Ada who went home to be with Jesus last Friday night. The funeral was held in a small Mennonite church where she was a long-time member. No instruments accompanied the hymns; it was our voices alone that filled the air with solemn praise. They summarized her life in one paragraph then invited family members to share. The many memories shared revealed the importance of family, faith, and fellowship in her life. They didn't rattle off her accomplishments; hers was a life measured by her kindness and hospitality.

As our family gathered for this unfortunate reunion, I was able to reflect on my family history. Instead of being sad for the loss of Ada, I was reminded that I come from good stock. My ancestors came from Germany and settled in southeastern Pennsylvania for it's rich soil. They mainly farmed and raised their families. A few planted Mennonite churches, some of which are still around today! They had large families–some had as many as 10 children–all of whom worked the farm and cared for each other. After all, that was the Mennonite way.

As I visited with all my aunts & uncles, cousins & second cousins, it struck me that there weren't any high-powered CEO's or Fortune 500 executives among them. That kind of success is foreign to our family. But the smiles and the hearty handshakes spoke of another kind of wealth: the richness of family and the joy of being together. I smiled as I saw all the children running around the fellowship hall and listened to that laughter of relatives telling stories. Although death brought us all together, it was the most alive I've felt in a long time.

Baby Boy

2010-07-30T07:58:00.001-04:00

Josiah's Little Hammer

2010-07-27T23:33:00.000-04:00

Every now and then, Amy and I like to spend some alone time with the kids. Amy will take one of them to the store or I'll take one of them to the bank. It's a fund way to make errands more interesting and let each of them know they're getting our undivided attention.

Tonight, there were a few things that I needed to pickup at the Home Depot, so I figured it would be a male bonding experience. Josiah and I jumped in the car and headed to the land of tools. We picked up the few little items that I needed then headed to the promised land . . . hardware!! I knew that once Josiah saw aisles of power tools, he would be in love.

He got really excited when we perused the aisle of power drills (see above) and tried to make them work. Exually exciting were the drill presses, sanders, roto zips, recrocating saws and wrenches. But when he saw the wall of hammers, he froze in awe. Never before had he seen so many beautiful hammers in all shapes and sizes. I noticed his excitement and said, "do you want to pick one out?" His eye caught a little 10 oz hammer with a simple wooden handle. It was cheap and about his size, so I figured, "what the heck..." He just beamed and clutched his new friend for the rest of the trip.

We checked out at the self checkout, and at first he didn't want to part with it. But I assured him that he could have it right back. In the car, he said, "Daddy, hammer!" But I assured him that it should ride in the trunk until we got home to show Mommy. At home, I gave him the hammer and he raced in to show Amy and Annie. He was so excited! He proudly proclaimed, "Josiah's hammer!"

During Josiah's show and tell, Annie got a bit too close and actually walked right into the hammer, bumping her cheek on it. She sat down and cried. Josiah immediately dropped the hammer and ran across the kitchen and out the back door. He just stood outside the back door, cowering. He was afraid that he had hurt Annie and that he would be in trouble. It was hilarious! I wish you could have seen how fast he bolted! His face displayed tremendous guilt as I reassured him that it was an accident. He came back in and gave Annie a hug and all was right with the world.

My Inner Child

2010-07-21T14:10:00.001-04:00

When I was a kid, I was into all kinds of fast cars. I had posters of the Lamborghini Countach, the Ferrari Testerassa and the Porsche 911 Turbo. So the other day, when I was taking the kids to our adoption play group, I regressed back to that inner child for a moment when I saw a black Porsche in the parking lot. Just for kicks, I parked right next to it and snapped a picture.

The caption could've read, "all grown up" or "swagger wagon meets Porsche." But it's hard to capture how I felt in that moment. For a split second, there was a sense of loss and longing. Knowing that the minivan was mine and not the Porsche was a little sad; it meant that I had closed that chapter in my life. Gone were the days of flying down the Pacific Coast Highway in my Porsche on the way to my next studio session with some Hollywood superstar. The freedom, the independence, the status . . . your husbands would know exactly what I'm talking about.

I rounded the back of the van to get Annie, and when I opened the door, she looked at me with all the excitement in the world and said, "Hi!" as she so often does. I just smiled and knew that the poor schmuck in the Porsche had gotten the short end of the stick.

NICU visit

2010-07-17T21:43:00.000-04:00

Last week, Annie had her annual eye checkup at Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia (where she was born) so we used the opportunity to visit the NICU where she spent the first month of her life. Unfortunately her eyes were really dilated from the eyedrops and she was pretty uncomfortable. And most of the nurses that worked with Annie were off that day, but we did find one that remembered Annie and was amazed at how big she's gotten! She couldn't believe it was the same baby!

We chatted about her health and how well she's doing and reminisced about that first month (including her first Christmas) in the NICU. I thanked her again for all their amazing work and asked that she pass along my love to the other "angels" that kept us sane throughout that ordeal.

As I left, I walked past the nursery again and peered through the thick protective glass at the babies in their isolettes. Machines beeping a cadence as they monitored every breath of each little one. I rounded the corner and saw a sleeping infant that was crying and obviously uncomfortable; he was totally alone in a dark room. It was hard to watch. It may have only been for a few minutes that he wasn't attended to, or maybe it was the entire night. I'm so naive to think that there is enough help to go around. They can't possibly watch every baby 24/7.

I can't imagine how lonely and terrifying that must be to an infant. It helps me understand Annie's unique personality; how she always wants to be held and carried and demands our attention. When I think of that frightened baby all alone, I just pickup my Annie and hold her close. I remind her that Daddy is here and that she's never going to be alone again.

"Run Run"

2010-07-11T00:06:00.001-04:00

Josiah has a new nickname. He was in the nursery at church tonight and was entertaining all the nursery workers chasing an older boy around the room. He ran for almost an hour and a half! The little boy started calling him "Run Run" and I like it! It fits, and it's reminiscent of "Re-run" from the old TV series What's Happening."

See What I Mean?

2010-07-07T21:09:00.002-04:00

I have to set the stage for Annie's over-the-top reaction above. I had just microwaved a soft pretzel for her and J to share. She was excited because she loves them. I broke it in half and gave part to Josiah and part to Annie. But Abby dog swooped in and snatched her piece right out of her hand and gobbled it down! I saw her bottom lip quiver and she burst out in tears. I offered her another piece, but she wasn't having it. I just had to laugh because at the overreaction...

P.S. She later watched this video of herself throwing a mega tantrum and laughed. Go figure.

"Do the Mash..."

2010-07-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

We had three picnics over the 4th of July holiday, so our weekend was jam-packed with burgers, potato salad and lots of sun. Definitely the most memorable moment was at our church picnic on Saturday night. Annie was struggling with her molars and was difficult to control, so I had her up on my shoulders as I was walking around. She likes to perch up there and she grabs onto my hair (ouch!) as she looks around. They opened up the dessert table and I figured she's enjoy a chocolate chip cookie since she was feeling bad.

I picked an oversized chocolate chip cookie off the plate and handed it up to her. She took the cookie in both hands, crumbled it, and mashed it into my hair! Everyone around us erupted in laughter; it was one of those moments that everyone wished they had on camera because it was so unexpected. A few folks helped me wipe Annie down and picked pieces of chocolate out of my hair, but I have a feeling that this particular picnin will go down in history as "the great cookie mash".

Picky Eater

2010-07-04T18:56:00.001-04:00

Josiah loves crackers. Funny thing is that he only want perfect, unbroken ones. He cries for a cookie or cracker, and if I try to hand him a broken one, he'll refuse to take it.

He's a juice-aholic, too. We've been trying to scale back his juice intake, but when I offer him water, he takes a sip and says " water" and throws his cup. I've learned that he'll take it if I pretend to pour juice into his cup.

There's not much that he doesn't like, but he's pretty particular about how he takes it.

Our "Strong-Willed" Child

2010-07-04T11:36:00.000-04:00

Annie is our miracle baby. A gift from God that no one saw coming. She is the light of my life and I've discovered an indestructible bond that a Daddy can have with his little girl.

She is also a demon child. (See photo of tantrum above). I don't know if it was the way she came into the word or if it's just the way God made her, but she definitely has an opinion about everything around her and expects everything to happen NOW. When she doesn't get what she wants, screaming and pounding and flailing and crying...it's enough to make you lose your mind.

My parents, who are regular readers of this blog, will probably find this humorous and somewhat approprtiate. After all, there was probably no child more strong-willed than me, and I guess I was destined to have a strong-willed child to restore order and justice to the universe. I had it coming. They have two copies of "Raising Your Strong-Willed Child"-- one for me and one for my sister. I guess I'll have to borrow a copy.

Vacation Wrap-Up

2010-06-30T00:41:00.000-04:00

We had an awesome time at the beach last week! The kids had a blast playing in the ocean and seeing their cousins from Idaho and no one got sunburn! That truly is amazing! I attribute it to SPF 70+ sunscreen "no tears" formula. Below are some of our favorite shots of the kids in the water.

"Just A Little Pinch"

2010-06-28T14:54:00.000-04:00

While on vacation, Amy needed an injection of progesterone (a hormone to prevent pre-term labor). And since there were no nurses around, I was tapped for the job. You have to understand, I hate blood. Turn white and get queasy at the sight of it. So pushing a 1 1/2 inch needle into Amy's muscle tissue was pretty challenging for me. But it was a serious need; once you start the drug, you have to stay on a straight schedule.

I carefully read the instructions and Amy helped me prepare the syringe. I didn't like the look of the long inter muscular needle, but I reminded myself that it was for the baby. I said, "little pinch" and the needle disappeared into Amy's thigh. It was actually very weird. The drug was pretty thick, so it took a while for the plunger to go down (which was really weird) but we both made it through. I'm not gonna lie, I knelt over the toilet afterwards just in case, but I'm happy to report that my injection experience was vomit-free!

Jersey Shore

2010-06-24T18:34:00.000-04:00

We're currently enjoying a week-long vacation at Ocean City, New Jersey. We rented a house just off the boardwalk with Amy's entire extended family, so we're having lots of family fun time. and thanks to a neighbor with unsecured Wi-Fi, I'm able to post updates!!

Follow-up

2010-06-19T10:19:00.000-04:00

Thanks for all the great advice! I decided to send an e-mail (no pictures) and simply ask if he wanted to stay in contact or receive any updates. Unfortunately, it bounced back. Maybe that's my answer for now. I'd love to re-connect, but I don't want to search for someone who doesn't really want to be found.

What Should I Do?

2010-06-18T08:27:00.001-04:00

I got some spam from Patricia (Josiah's birthmom) and was about to delete it when I decided to check the "show details" button. It was being sent to everyone on her contacts list, including Josiah Birthfather!! Yup, I have his e-mail address. Hmmmmmmm . . .

The only time we met was the day Josiah was born. He was gracious and wished us the best. We hugged and I gave him our contact info. He later told our social worker that he didn't want to be involved and wouldn't respond to their communication.

So what should I do? I mean my heart is telling me to send him an update with a photo to let him know that Josiah is doing great! I figured that the fresh wounds of just releasing his baby contributed to his "hands off" attitude. But now that over 2 1/2 years have passed, I wonder if he's changed his tune.

Josiah & Annie singing T-Pain style

2010-06-16T08:20:00.001-04:00

Josiah autotune by Dave Gerhart

"Surprise!"

2010-06-08T15:35:00.000-04:00

You may recall that Annie gets physical therapy since she was slightly behind in her ability to crawl and walk. Once a week, her therapist comes out to the house and works with her and gives us things to work on for her continued development. Our last meeting was two weeks ago, and our therapist said he would call me to schedule the next meeting after the Memorial Day holiday.

We usually meet early in the week, and I still hadn't heard from him last week, so I e-mailed him on Sunday night to see if he wanted to meet this week or take the week off. Monday morning I got the kids up, gave them breakfast then baths because they had managed to get oatmeal all over themselves! They played in the tub for a while laughing and splashing each other. When it was time to get out, I dried them off and got them fresh diapers.

Suddenly someone knocked at the front door. I was thinking, "What the . . . ?!" It was Annie's therapist for our 9:30 session! I got Annie dressed REALLY fast and let him in, trying to downplay the mess of oatmeal that I had left on the kitchen table. (In fact, he's lucky that I bothered to shower!) Josiah was still wearing only a diaper, but that didn't stop him from greeting the therapist enthusiastically!

He could see that I was out of sorts and he asked, "are you by yourself today?" I said yes without detailing the mix-up and we made it work. I usually have my Mom come over to watch Josiah while Annie and I work with the therapist, but he was really well behaved, so it went well. At one point, the therapist asked how Annie's eating was going, and I said she's doing well but still hasn't mastered using the spoon yet. He said, "I can see that by the mess of oatmeal on the table." Mortified!

Josiah & Lenny Kravitz

2010-06-08T00:37:00.000-04:00

It's a BOY!!!

2010-06-04T23:45:00.005-04:00

Amy's 16-week ultrasound went really well! They were able to see Baby G's heartbeat and his little bones and blood flow. He's moving around quite a bit, so I'm guessing he'll be an active one! At one point, he looked directly at the ultrasound wand and all you could see was this skeleton looking at you on the monitor...freaked us out!! But everything appears to be perfect, and we're so excited!!

Dr. Phil

2010-06-03T14:16:00.000-04:00

Did you catch "Dr. Phil" yesterday? I'm usually not a TV-in-the-afternoon kind of guy, but it was soooo hot that it's all we could do when Amy got home from work. The title of the show was "Adoption: Return to Sender" a story about the Tennessee couple that "returned" their Russian child.

There were three panelists, all with horrific stories of children with severe behavioral problems. One by one they told Dr. Phil how they simply couldn't deal with the child and had to place it in a psychiatric foster care system as they posed a danger to the adoptive family. I found the one woman's demeanor especially cold and harsh; she was so bitter and jaded by the experience that her heart was hardened and she saw no hope for her child returning home. Another one told Dr. Phil, "if you suspect there's something wrong with these children, run! There is always another child."

Unbelievable.

I don't want to marginalize their struggle, but what a terrible message to heap atop Adoption. It's already plagued with fear and misconception. Now on top of everything else, you have to worry if the child you're bringing home will be mentally irreparable. I was so disappointed with Dr. Phil in dedicating an entire episode to scaring people rather than educating them about the wonderful gift of adoption.

Night Night

2010-06-02T22:24:00.000-04:00

Josiah had a terrible time going down for a nap yesterday, and as a result, we was pretty cranky when Amy got home; he needed to run off some "naughty energy." After a few hours of his sillyness, Amy went to bed but Josiah was still going strong, so I decided to let him stay up with me as we watched some TV. After a while he brought a blanket over to me and climbed up into my arms and fell asleep. Probably one of my favorite things ever!!

18 Month Checkup

2010-06-01T23:01:00.000-04:00

Holy Moly! Our little preemie is 18 months old! She's getting huge, too compared to that little 3lb 9oz nugget that barely fit in her carseat coming home from the hospital. She had her checkup today and did really well! The doc said she's right where she needs to be and is catching up in the height, weight and head stats, inching ever closer to the 50th percentile (instead of being off the chart...) She clocked in at a whopping 22 lbs!

I asked him about the toungue injury and her recent tumble down the stairs (horrifying!); he said that we did the right thing in both cases. Neither injury required a trip to the ER, but he did joke, "wow, these aren't scrapes on the knee; these are major injuries!" I guess Annie is a little accident prone with her weak upper body strength. But even her muscle tone is improving, which is exciting to see.

Hosed

2010-05-28T22:15:00.001-04:00

A Huge Sigh of Relief

2010-05-28T16:09:00.002-04:00

I have to start by saying what a trooper Amy has been. This transition has been really hard on both of us, and my heart breaks for her with all that she has to shoulder. Being pregnant with twins, then losing one and transitioning to a full-time job where she misses Josiah and Annie terribly all while she's pregnant has been exasperating! She literally collapsed onto the couch last night when she got home and fell asleep for an hour or two before her OB appt. We ate supper while she slept and I keps the kiddies quiet so she could get some much-needed rest.

No doubt her OB appt was weighing heaving on her as well. It was our first appointment since we lost one of the twins, and there was always this lingering fear that something might be wrong with this one as well. However we all listened to the heartbeat and the docs feel like everything is perfect!

If you could have seen Amy's face when she heard the heartbeat, it was like her heart melted and she allowed herself to believe again; to have hope that there will be a baby! Very excited!!

Poor Annie

2010-05-27T14:05:00.001-04:00

The weather has been really nice here lately, albeit pretty humid. After a fun-filled day of playing, I decided to give Josiah & Annie a bath.

"Tub Time" is one of their favorite things (so long as I don't activate the shower) and I never have to ask them twice if they want a bath. Josiah jumped in right away and Annie was playing just outside with her hand on the tub to steady herself. I went to grab a towell and I head her fall then cry. She must have hit her chin on the tub because she put 2-4 teeth righ into her tongue! There was a large diagonal gash across her sweet little tongue and lots of blood so we both tried to control the bleeding and comfort he at the same time. Lots of juice and cold milk and a cold rag to chew on seemed to do the trick.

The bleeding stopped and she was fine. You could tell she was uncomfortable, but it wasn't a serious injury as much as it was scary. We checked again this morning and she was as chipper as ever.

My Little Princess

2010-05-24T13:23:00.000-04:00

"Swagger Wagon"

2010-05-23T01:22:00.002-04:00

There was no avoiding it...we needed a minivan. And baby #3 due on mid November, we didn't want to be running around at the last minute trying to buy a car on top of everything else that will be going on.

We looked at ALL the SUV and crossover options out there, and as much as I like the Chevy Traverse there was no we could swing the price tag. So I shifted my focus to minivans and consulted Consumer Reports for the safest, most reliable van and narrowed the choices to the Honda Odyssey and the Toyota Sienna. The two are nearly identical in what they offer, so it came down to the feel and personal preference. After much web surfing, we found an '05 Sienna with only 35,000 miles and pulled the trigger. My last two cars were Toyotas and I was familiar with them. The only other deciding factor was the AWD (a Sienna exclusive) which will definitely come in handy for Pennsylvania winters.

So I can't really say that I'm excited to be the owner of a minivan, but I like the safety features and the fact that they kids can watch movies on long trips. And it's a swagger wagon...love that video!!

Good Day

2010-05-13T23:47:00.000-04:00

With my stitches out and the bandage removed, I feel like a new man! I really take my right hand for granted, and it was great to thoroughly wash my hand since I couldn't get it wet for 10 days. Still a bit sore at times; it might take a month to get up to full strength.

We had a super fun day! I dropped the kiddos off with Grammy (my mom) while I had my stitches removed, then we all had lunch together. Tacos is always sure to please my crew! Josiah continues to put sentences together and it's really cute to hear him try to communicate. He chats up anybody that passes by. Annie is walking pretty well and will be re-evaluated in a few weeks to see if we still need the physocal therapy.

They were already asleep by the time I got home, so I transferred them one at a time into their beds and had a good three hours to get the house straightened up and start a load of wash. I feel like I'm getting into the rhythm of the whole SAHD thing. At least I'm not losing my mind! [grin]

When Amy got home, we had a light supper and headed to the local farm for some ice cream. Josiah was really excited to see the cows and keps saying "cow, cow" the whole way there. In fact, he called the peacock, pig and chicken "cow" before actually seeing his bovine friends. Annie was in awe of the giant black & white creatures!

After we got home, all the neighborhood kids were out, and Josiah ran to play with them as soon as I unbucklked him. We spent over an hour running, playing, racing, and laughing with the neighbors. It's got me thinking twice about the "for sale" sign in the front yard . . . we're in such a perfect neighborhood! Maybe we can make the space work . . . hmmmm

turning a corner

2010-05-12T23:57:00.000-04:00

Did I even mention that I had surgery on my right hand? I went in last Tuesday and they got me all fixed up. Years of playing the guitar and being a computer junkie caught up with me and I had the carpal tunnel surgery. Stitches come out tomorrow, thank God, because parenting one-handed is not for the faint of heart!

I think I'm turning a corner with the whole miscarriage thing. I think I said it best in this post on the church's blog. I spent a number of days in a funk this week; the depression just washed over me and I found it hard to get out of bed. But then I realized that I have two awesome kids that need me, and one on the way. I remember all too well what it was like longing for children, and I consider our family incredibly blessed. We have some friends right now going through the difficult process of infertility treatments and I'm going to complain about having 3 kids as opposed to 4? The sulking and self-pity wasn't helping me move forward. Twins were something I was excited about, but God chose to go another direction. I'm good with that now.

Baby Pictures

2010-05-11T14:10:00.000-04:00

Joy & Pain

2010-05-10T20:20:00.001-04:00

I haven't posted in a few days because we found out Thursday that one of the twins didn't make it. We were at a routine screening ultrasound when the doctor noticed that Baby A didn't have a heartbeat and there was no blood flow. We were shocked and devastated. I mean we knew this was a possibility, but we thought that after 12 weeks we were pretty safe.

Our sadness is tempered with the joy of seeing Baby B growing and thriving. During the ultrasound, the baby rolled, flexed and opened his tiny hand displaying five tiny fingers!

We're dealing with the news the best we can, but it's been hard.

The Trash Can Band

2010-05-06T04:20:00.000-04:00

A couple of guys at church got together to do a remake of "Nothing but the Blood" for the teaching series. Here's the result.

Miss Annie is Walking!

2010-05-03T00:20:00.002-04:00

Looks like our little Annie girl has turned a corner; she's been walking almost across the room by herself! It's really cute to watch, and as she gains more confidence, she'll soo be as mobile as her big brother. Which is great because I need the stroller again in about 6 months!