Surreal

Amy's at 6cm and getting her epidural right now...but I want to talk abouting something else:

Patricia (Josiah's birthmom) visited us in the hospital today! As soon as I saw her, I broke out in a big smile...we were both so happy to see her!!

We caught up on life and such, and she's been reading the blog and the Facebook posts, so she was pretty much up to speed. She was working nearby and just walked over to the hospital to see Amy. She's so cool...

What was surreal about the visit was that we were visiting her in the hospital 9 months ago. We NEVER expected the shoe to be on the other foot! It's hard to articulate...there was something really special about having her there for our special day...it made it even more meaningful.

"Wait and See"

Around 10:00 pm last night they took Amy off the magnesium, which is the drug that's been holding the contractions at bay. I guess I was expecting to see something dramatic, but we both slept peacefully and uventfully through the night.

We both awoke around 9:00 this morning. We got a rockin' new nurse, Debbie, that let Amy sit up, wash up and change her sheets and her gown. Amy felt like a new woman! Shortly after she got settled. the contractions returned in full force. First 15 minutes apart, then 6. She was in a lot of pain, so they have her IV Nubain, which worked scary fast! As soon as it was injected, her speech was slurred as she got instantly groggy! I almsot chuckled because she was SO out of it so quickly.

The attending physician came in just a few minutes ago and confirmed that she'll probably deliver today. The baby has dropped down even further, so it could be anytime now!

Progressing

About an hour after my post last night, I was awoken from a dead sleep by a phone call from Amy at the hospital. The contractions had not stopped, and now she was dialated 2 cm.

I drove to the hospital and arrived just before the transfer team. They loaded her onto a helicopter and she flew to Temple University Hospital in Philadelphia. A drive that took me 1 hour took Amy C minutes by chopper!

Temple has a neonatal ICU, so if the baby does come at 30 weeks, we're in the best place.

So we've spend the night at Temple with a team of top docs and nurses attending to Amy and our precious 3 lb. baby girl.

Amy is still on Magnesium to halt the contractions, but she's still contracting. She's now 4 cm dialated and the baby's head has moved down ito the birth canal. There's no question that this baby is coming soon. Today? Tomorrow? We'll just have towait and see....

New Developments...

At about 11:45 pm last night, I found Amy doubled over in pain. She said it was back pain, but when I timed the episodes, they were occurring every six minutes like clockwork! I did a quick search on WebMD for "contractions" and learned that they usually start as lower back pain before they progress to the abdomen.

We called he OB right away, and he instructed us to head to the hospital. Amy spent the night attached to a fetal monitor, which was picking up some very distinct (and painful) contractions. She was in pre-term labor, which is a problem because she's only 30 weeks along. She received 3 liters of IV fluid before the doctor proscribed Terbutaline, a drug that would halt her contractions. The drug seemed to decrease both the frequency and the severity of the contractions, but we weren't out of the woods. The doctor came in and told us that we're "high risk" because of the pre-term labor, and he put Amy on modified bedrest. No work, no strenuous activity, no exceptions. They discharged us around 9:30 am.

We went home and Amy still wasn't feeling right. She was still experiencing painful contractions about 3 minutes apart that had grown in intensity. We headed back to the hospital, where we had just left 3 hours before. They put us back in the same room and ran another IV with the Terbutaline. It has some effect on the amount of pain she was experiencing, but she reached the max dosage and was still contracting, so they decided to keep her overnight again for observation.

I headed home this time, because I missed Josiah and I needed some good sleep if I was going to take care of both Amy and Josiah. I know that God is in control, but I'm worried about Amy. I'm worried about having a premature baby that will spend two months in an incubator at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I'm worried how we'll pay the bills without her salary for two months. And I'm worried that she won't be able to chase after Josiah, which will really increase the demand on me between work and caring for both Amy and the baby.

I should know more tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.

FINALIZATION!

Great news, folks!  We FINALLY heard back from the courts and they've scheduled our finalization hearing for December 9th at 9:00 am.  It's taken a long time to get to this final step, and we're excited to "officially" welcome him as a Pennsylvania resident (complete with birth certificate and social security card, neither of which he has right now.)

The timing is perfect!  We needed the adoption to be finalized before the end of the year so we can receive the adoption tax credit, which will really help in paying back the adoption loan we took out.  And our renovation is just about finished, so we'll be able to have everybody over to the house after our court date to celebrate!

Haircare & Skincare

A few weeks ago, Amy an I attended a hair/skincare workshop for parents of AA babies.  It was super fun and very helpful, so I figured I'd pass along a few tidbits.

The first and most important thing to know about AA babies is that their skin must CONSTANTLY be moisturized.  There was an adoptive mother there that raised three AA children, and she confessed that she had tubes of lotion all around the house because her kids were constantly going through it.  What's the big deal?  Well, when caucasian skin gets dry, you can draw on it with your fingernail, but it's not visibly problematic.  When brown skin gets dry, it gets grey and "ashy" and is quite noticeable.  In fact, other AA moms will point it out to you at the grocery store!  Seriously!

Frequent baths can dry out the skin of AA babies, so Josiah get a bath once a week (unless he has a blowout in his diaper!)  The rest of the time, we lather him with Aveno Baby lotion or Palmer's cocoa butter (which has the added benefit of making him smell like brownies!) 

For the hair, make sure it's not dry.  There are grease products that you can use when they're older, but for now use the baby lotion or olive oil in the hair.  We found a moisturizing creme for J made by Silken Child that smells like watermelon and keeps his hair really healthy and super cute!

If you baby seems to fuss when you do their hair, it's probably because you aren't messing with their hair enough.  Just rub their head when you given them a bottle or massage their scalp when they're about to go down for a nap.  This will get them used to having someone messing with their hair.  Their hair will collect all sorts of fuzz, so use a small comb to get the particles out and then a small brush to brush it out.  Warning:  it's time consuming!

Finally, braids!  Boys and girls can wear "plats" which are like dutch braids (think Laura Ingles on little house) or "corn rows" (think Coolio or Snoop Dogg).  While any beauty shop that does AA hair will braid for you, it's something that I'm hoping to learn.  Honestly I can't wait until J can wear corn rows...but I'm getting ahead of myself.  "Plats" are little braids that are made from sectioning off a square portion of hair and braiding it out away from the scalp.  The end are tied with little pony tail holdlers, NEVER RUBBER BANDS as this will damage the hair.  "Corn Rows" are similar, but you pickup a section of hair that's on the head and the braid clings tightly to the scalp, like a French Braid.

Wow, this post got long.  If you're still reading, congratulations!  Feel free to post any tips and tricks that you've found in dealing with AA hair and skin.  We're all learning together!

Adoption Play Group

I had the wonderful opportunity to visit the adoption play group on Monday! A local church opened up their fellowship hall and everyone brings snacks, crafts and toys. It was FUN! Josiah enjoyed the vast expanse of carpeted floor, and he wasted no time in scooting all over the place as soon as I put him down!

I loved chatting with the other moms as we shared our adoption stories. It was a pretty good mix of domestic and international adoptions ranging in age from Josiah's 9 months to probably 5 or 6 years. It was heartwarming to see J interact with the other children. They kept saying "look at the cute baby" and they woudl walk up to him and hug him or kiss his cheek. The moms reminded them to be gentle (which I appreciated) but it was unnecessary; it was as if there was an innate gentleness built into the other children which was activated when they were around Joishah It was remarkable!

Josiah made lots of new friends, and he played really well with the other kids, most of which were older than he was. My favorite part was a "crawling race" which his new friend Jonah initiated. Some of the other kids joined in as well, and Josiah giggled with glee as he tried to catch up with the others.

I think it's important that Josiah sees faces that are many different shades. Living in the suburbs, I'm worried that we're immersed in a Caucasian community that dosen't reflect the diversity that J needs to feel comfortabel in his own skin. My Mom recently found a toy figurine that was African-American, and when I handed it to him, J looked at it over and over again, then smiled and giggled. I think there's an extent to which he understands "hey, that little person looks like me!"

In Limbo

Wow, it's been a long time since I've update the 'ol blog. Sorry folks. We're smack dab in the middle of remodeling our living room/dining room, so we're living at my parent's house while the renovation is underway to avoid breathing in all the plaster dust and general debris. I have some photos up on Flilckr of the progress. When they're all finished, I'll post the "before and after" shots.

It's been fun having Josiah at the Grandparents' place! They love it, of course, and we like that he gets to spend some quality time with them. It hasn't been without incident, however. Just last weekend, we all went out to visit my aunt and uncle in the nursing home. We all had brunch at the little cafe and came home with serious food poisining! Amy, my Mom and I were pretty bad. My Dad had baked oatmeal, so he escaped the agony, but the rest of us were in bad shape. After a day or two of puking our guts out, life seemed to get back to normal.

Then Josiah took a tumble down some stairs, which freaked me out. He was crawling up the stairs and got to the fourth step before he lost his balance and fell and smacked his face on the linoleum. His mouth was pretty bloody (I think his tooth caught him lip on the fall) and he cried in such a way that you knew he was in pain. We just held him and rocked him, then took him right back to the stairs for another climb (hey folks, ya gotta get right bnack on that horse...)

Last night, he came down with a stomach bug; he spend most of the night throwing up and looking generally pathetic. We gave him some pedialyte and he perked up a little this morning, but he was so sad and pitiful that you couldn't help but just squeeze him.

A New Era

I feel a tremendous sense of pride tonight. The very same year that Amy and I adopt an African American baby boy, the first African American president in our nation's history is elected! I was deeply moved as I watched the election results pour in and wrapped my mind around what was taking place. It's the fulfillment of Martin Luther King Jr's. vision, demonstrated by the diversity of the crowd at Grant Park in Chicago.

At one point during Obama's victory speech, I had to choke back tears as Josiah stopped playing with his toys and just stared at the TV screen. I know that he didn't comprehend the historical significance of what was happening, but I'd like to think that he noticed that the president has brown skin just like he does.

Regardless of whether or not you supported Obama in this election, this is a special day. We can tell our children that they can aspire to be anything; that there are no limits to what they can dream to be. Josiah will grow up knowing that he can aspire to be ANYTHING...

As a side note: Did you notice all the scriptural references made by the CNN commentators?

Josiah gets his bounce on