Counting the Cost

"Adoption is too expensive..."  

I've heard this a lot, and I think that's the fundamental misconception about adoption.  We know of a handful of couples right now–GREAT couples–that would love to pursue adoption, but they can't get past the money.  What they don't realize is that it's not insurmountable.

So for all of you that see the $21,000 on paper and panic, here's hope:  For Josiah's adoption, our out-of-pocket cost was around $4500.  That's it.  Surprised?  Well, we applied for all the grants that were available; we were matched with some funds and turned down by others, but every little bit helped.  The biggest chunk was placement fee ($16K) and for that Bethany works with a bank that specialized in low-interest adoption loans.  The loan covered the placement fee, and comes out to about $106 month.  What people don't realize is that adoptive parents get an adoptive child tax credit the calendar year of the placement for $10,000, so that adoption loan will be paid off shortly after April 15, 2009.

If you're considering adoption, or know someone who is, encourage them to prayerfully consider it and take the leap of faith.  Don't let the money hold you back from experiencing the greatest joy imaginable in opening your heart to someone amazing!

Baltimore

One of my favorite things about living in the northeast is the proximity to so many cool places to visit! We didn't really have any plans Sunday morning, so we decided to drive to Baltimore. It was only 2 hours away, and the weather was awesome. We figured we'd check out the National Aquarium and eat a little seafood at Phillips. Yum!

While I love a spontaneous trip, it would have been helpful to check on the stroller policy at the national aquarium. Being new to this whole "baby thing" I just figured that anywhere you coudl walk you could take a stroller. Not so much. They're actually not permitted at the aquarium. We had to check our stroller (and camera bag) and the aquarium provided us with a very cumbersome backpack. I certainly wasn't expecting this! So J was on my back and decided that he was fascinated with my hair. He woudl play with it then giggle then try to eat it. Simple pleasures... Oh he DID enjoy the fish, too. So much so that at the end of our two hour aquatic adventure he fell asleep in the backpack. (more photos to follow)

We had a blast! J was great, the weather was awesome, and we were home by 10:00 or so with a very sleepy baby. It was a nice little excursion

"To Cut or Not To Cut?"

THAT is the question . . .

Josiah's hair is getting pretty long, and stuff gets tangled in it like velcro. I brush it, but I'm not quite sure which direction to go. Some say brush it front, others say brush it back. Right nw, he's rockin' a "Buckwheat-meets-Grandpa Munster" do.

I've heard that I absolutely SHOULD NOT cut his hair for the first year. In addition to being a cultural thing, AA hair goes through changes the first year and holding off on cutting it allows it to go through the process. How firm is that whole "one year" rule? At this rate, by the time he's 12 months his hair will double as storage space!

Amy and I were talking to some AA moms today, and they suggested using a clippers or a bic razor to keep it nice and short. I love this idea, because it would look nice and clean. But I don't want to stunt the natural growth of his hair. I've been using petroleum jelly to style it thus far, but now it just sticks out in all directions.

Any thoughts?

Josiah's New Friend

Today we attended Bethany's "Family Fun Day" at a local park. It was a really cool way to meet other families that adopted, and it was a great day to be outside and let J enjoy this great weather. It was really well attended. Something like 200 people were there, and when you see the mass of people in line for hot dogs and burgers, it made me feel better to see so many other that have made the decision to adopt.

As usual, Bethany really had their act together! There were games, crafts, food & drinks, and plenty of friendly folks to chat with. We were pulled into a really friendly group of families from New Jersey that welcomed us right away. They had a combination of biological and adopted children, domestic and international. They were great! At one point, we had to leave Josiah with then so we could get our burgers. They said, "don't worry, this is the safest place in the world to be because everyone here had to get clearances."

The highlight of the day was when Josiah met Samara, the daughter of one of the Bethany case workers. They're about a month apart, and they hit it off right away! At one point, Samara leaned in to give J a kiss on the cheek...it was TOO precious!

Dog Parade

OK, I couldn't resist posting this photo. Amy was working this past Saturday, so J and I went to the local dog parade. It's a fun and festive way to dress up your pooch and parade down main street with other similarly dresses pooches in 95 degree heat. It's an annual event with that awards the winner one year of bragging rights . . . and that's about all.

I opted to leave Abby (our wonderful Golden Retriever/Cocker Spaniel mix) at home because Josiah was going to require my undivided attention. We had a great time! The little Dachshund pictured above won for best costume, and I still laugh every time I see the photo.

Josiah's been doing really well with solid food! We started him with applesauce, then graduated to sweet potatoes then pears. I think carrots is next on the menu. I'm still note sure about the meats. They looks pretty gross to me. Something about ham or turkey in a jar . . .

In other news, I was holding Josiah while playing a game of "I Spy" with the 5-year old daughter of some friends, and I had to laugh . . . it went something like this:

"I spy with my little eye something pink" she said.
"It's your dress!" I replied.
She continued, "I spy with my little eye something green."
"That's easy; it's the grass" was my response. Josiah giggled.
"I spy with my little eye . . . something with a black body."

What makes it funnier is that she's half Caucasian and half Nicaraguan and often refers to her dad and "brown" I guess Josiah was a few shades darker than her Daddy. too funny . . .

too funny...

I have to give credit to William & Glenna for finding this video (I'm re-posting it from one of their blogs) the little British accents kill me! It's just sounds like Tiny Tim . . .

Free Music

Now THIS is a cool idea!

A bunch of great artists like Derek Webb, Sixpence None the Richer, Andy Gullahorn and Matthew Peryman Jones have gotten together and decided that they're rather not SELL their albums. They'd rather give them away and let people download them free. They just ask for thre e-mail addresses so that they can spread the word and let people know that there's anew album out, etc. That it! No strings, no gimmick. I just downloaded four albums!

CHECK IT OUT HERE

Wedding outtakes

Learning to Crawl

Quick update: Josiah is crawling backwards! (which I hear is the first step in learning to crawl). It won't be long now that J will trade in his rolling across the room for crawling! Cool!

All good things must come to an end

Since J was born, we've been amazed at how calm and quiet he's been in public. We've taken him out to resteraunts, he goes to church with us and sleeps quietly through the message (sometimes Daddy does too, but I digress...) We've been the envy of my sister, who's little boy was extremely colicky and irritable for the first 6 months. Everyone said, "what a GOOD baby you have there..."

It was on this past history of good behavior that we tempted fate: one of my best friends was married on Saturday, and we decided that we would take J to the wedding the reception. We figured if we time it just right, he would sleep through the ceremony and be awake for the reception.

Boy did we time it wrong...

We found our seats in the church about 30 minutes prior to the ceremony. Josiah was feeling pretty good, and decided to start "singing" and giggling loudly. I gave him a bottle and hoped it would pass. It didn't. I excused myself from the sanctuary hoping that he'd stop. He didn't. So I found a back room at the church, closd the door and we just played together. I was upset that I messed the wedding, but he was so happy and playful that I couldn't hold it against him.

Right after the wedding, he fell asleep. Seriously! At least it gave us a chance to catch up with some old friends. At the reception, he woke up feeling saucy and it was right back to singing and vocalizing loudly. We gave him a bottle, ate our dinners, and excused ourselves. Everyone understood, but we were embarrased and humbled; like Icarus we flew too close to the sun, falling back into reality.

Adoption Books

I was inspired by one of Rebekah's posts to order some books for J that deal with adoption. After perusing the selection at Amazon, and reading a little about each one, I landed on these four. Now that I've received them and had a chance to read them through, I'm really happy with the selections and would recommend them to all of you!

The Day We Met You by Phoebe Koehler

This is my favorite; it talks about all the things that the family did to pepare for the arrival of the new baby from borrowing a carseat to getting hand-me-down clothes. It's very real and shows the love of the family and friends as well as tells the child the story of his own birth process (including the birth mom). Love it!

Matthew Was Adopted: Child of Destiny by Dawson, Phoebe

Recommended by Rebekah, this is a great find! It's out of print, but I found one on Amazon. It's the most Spiritually-centered book on adoption that I've read, drawing the emphasis of the adoption back to the picture of salvation. Also speaks to the trans-racial issue.

I Don't Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze

This one is definitely helpful from a trans-racial standpoint. As the title suggests, it's a look at the differences in adoption and trans-racial adoption but raws on the similarities. I think it will really help with the questions that we'll get down the road.

A Blessing from Above by Patti Henderson, Elizabeth Edge

My least favorite of the four in that it's a little too secular in dealing with a adoption (which just screams GOD) but it's cute.

Pregnancy is Overrated

I'm having a hard time being thankful for this pregnancy. I know that it's a wonderful gift from God, but I hate to see Amy going through this. She's been sick every day from a mild headache to throwing up on the train into work. It's really zapped her energy and motivation; instead of thriving in what should be joyous time, it feels like we're just surviving.

As wonderful as the pregnancy is, we can't hide the disappointment. We had hoped to be starting the adoption process again right about now. We wanted Josiah to have a little brother or sister that looked like him. What's worse, our agency is bursting at the seams with AA babies and there's NO ONE in the pool that's open to trans-racial adoption. That kills me! We'd love nothing more than to adopt them all (well, maybe one at a time...)

Don't get me wrong, we are so thankful for Baby G. We know that God has a plan, just like he did with Josiah. We just have to rest in the knowledge that He's gonna work it out (which is harder for those of us that like planning, organization, and control.) Through it all, J is a constant source of joy and seems to be our anchor in the storm. We can barely remember life before him, so we're banking on the fact that life after #2 will be just as sweet.

Summer Storms

There's nothing better than the front porch during a thunderstorm. The summer heat takes a short hiatus while the wind whips into a cool frenzy, and the thunder seems to shake the earth with its roar. Bolts of lightning rip through the sky with blinding speed as the rain bounces and sprays off our leaky gutters.

When I was little, I can remember watching thunderstorms our front porch. I would cling to the wrought iron railing when the thunderclaps were especially frightening and jump when the lightning would flash across the night sky. Tonight, Josiah experienced his first thunderstorm. The sound of the rain on the roof was all around us, and he kept looking up trying to find the source of the sound. He wasn't startled by the thunderclaps, but he did notice the bright flash of a bolt of lightning. He just quietly observed everything around him.

The other thing that I love about summer storms is the social aspect. We live in a twin home, and when it storms, all the neighbors head to the front porch to catch up with each other. We had a great time tonight telling stories, commenting on the news of the day and admiring our little cutie pie.

Steven Curtis Speaks Out

For the first time since the tragic death of his daughter, Steven Curtis Chapman will share the grief and the sorrow following Maria Sue's loss and the road to rebuilding in the aftermath. The exclusive interview will be on ABC's "Good Morning America" Wednesday morning, Aug. 6th at 7:00 am. A preview of the segment can be found here:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=5518679

Jumpster

Josiah got a Graco "Jumpster" over the weekend and he's absolutely NUTS about it! He jumps and bounces all over the place. Amy caught this shots after he wore himself out.

Aftermath

We had a chance to speak to the woman who runs the adoption play group, and she set the record straight on all counts. The group was on a summer "break" and being coordinated by the woman who sent the e-mail. She's not a member of the church, and did not speak for the group or the church when she sent the unwelcoming e-mails to Amy.

The group felt terrible about what happened! They were shocked and appalled by the actions of this one individual confronted her about it. They assured us that the group was a safe place for our kids to connect with other adoptive kids. They apologized for the e-mail look forward to having us come back.

I'm relieved to know that we're welcome to join them, and that the dissent was only the voice of one rogue individual. Josiah realy needs places to siacialize, and this group is a great start!